stop lecturing?

I'm not sure how to teach my kids to be patient in adversity.  Let alone be grateful.  I can tell them to "be thankful in all circumstances" and use stories from the Bible or personal situations in the lives of people we know to illustrate what that means.  But what I think it just really comes down to is simply living life.  I can't always lecture.  They just need to learn.  And our lives will be filled with difficult--whether minor or major--situations.  Jeneva had to go to the eye doctor for her yearly exam.  They referred her to a specialist because she has a hereditary (Steve has the same thing) condition that causes her eyes to be really dry and super sensitive to light.  It's not necessarily "serious" just inconvenient.  So, a week later I take her to the new eye doctor and of course they had to dilate her eyes causing her to be uncomfortable for several hours with blurry vision.  While we were waiting in the waiting room for her eyes to dilate, she was huffing and puffing and pouting and saying "it's not fair! Why does this have to happen to me?" under her breath.  She was clearly upset.  My first reaction was to lecture her and tell her how ridiculous she sounds.  So her eyes are uncomfortable for 2 hours.  Big deal!  Get over it.  I started to remind her of all of the people we've been praying for lately--Amara who was sick in the hospital with lots of pains, 3 year old James who is going through chemo, etc. etc.  I told her that they probably didn't complain very much and that their situations are MUCH more uncomfortable than hers.  I was annoyed.  I'm still not totally sure what to do in a situation like that.  I kind of think I just need to be quiet in situations like that.  Let her huff and puff.  Pray with her that God would help her to have patience--let it go--and pray that God would work in her heart.