Sunday, April 26, 2015

that vapor. this life.

Every single day goes by.  It goes by fast.  When I look at pictures on my computer, or on Facebook from years ago, or actual printed photos from eons ago, it feels like yesterday.  When I really look at my kids' hands, ears, feet, they seem larger than they did 24 hours earlier.  When I write 2015 on a check, I kinda freak out a little.  When my friend who sells special face care creams and cleaners asks me if I want to try some, I say yes because I've noticed strange marks on my skin in recent years.  When I get invited to friends 40th birthday parties, I am reminded about how we went also to their 30th birthday parties and yet it feels like it was yesterday.  How?  How does this happen?  One reason I like going "home" to visit my parents frequently is that it feels like time has frozen when I go there.  It doesn't seem like that long ago that I used to live there.  Many things feel and look the same.  The people, the land, the town.  I'm not an overly nostalgic person, but I am feeling nostalgic now as I think about it.  That familiarity of years long ago feels nice.  Hmm.  I like it.  Feeling frozen in time feels nice for a moment in the midst of 100mph.

So, I feel as if I am a once a year blogger now.  I don't like that because I like to write.  This past year has come and gone.  I'll be 37 soon.  Or is it 38?  I honestly don't even know right now.  I might actually have to do the math.  I used to think it odd when people forgot how old they were.  This year has been filled with a lot of "the same".  The seasons this year in Minnesota were normal and typical.  We have had the same amount of children living under our roof.  Steve has had the same job.  We have lived in the same house.  We attend the same church.  We have many of the same friends.  I get my haircut the exact same way every time.  We still don't have any pets.  Our children attend the same school.  We drive the same vehicles.  We tore out our hair this spring (as we do every spring) because getting grass to grow in our yard is like trying to... (insert your favorite analogy of something that is really difficult to do).  We worship the same Jesus that we've always worshipped.  Those are a few of the "same" things. 

A few things have been "different" this year.  We've had several houseguests for various amounts of time.  I got a new part time job outside of the home.  I got to travel to Colorado and to Texas for work without my family.  We made some new friends.   Justus started sleeping through the night better.  Jeneva started middle school. Jude started becoming obsessed with soccer.  Josie learned to ride a bike without training wheels.  Steve has become quite interested in the health and nutrition of our family and that has become his passion.  I started running again.  Not much. But a little, nonetheless.  Those are a few "new" things.

I want to read more.  I want to exercise more.  I want to take more risks.  I want to enjoy people and life more.  I want to live life joyfully and to the fullest.  I want to pray more.  So help me God!